Panthera Leo

It is commonly known to resemble an upside-down "?" or a Sickle. Regulus (Latin for little king) is its brightest star, which can be found at the base of the question mark.

The constellation Leo is also known as the Lion.

It was said during ancient Egypt, when the lions of the desert came close to the valley of the Nile during the dry season whenever the river flooded. The Sun during this period can always be found in Leo; hence its name.

Ancient mythology for Leo tells of Hercules' first tasked labor, which was to kill the Nemean Lion; a fierce beast that took on the form of a meteor from the Moon and devastated the countryside of Corinth. Hercules had no trouble finding the cave with two entrances where the beast was known to reside at. As he approached the cave, he spotted the lion and aimed an arrow at its heart but it bounced off the Lion, not scarring it. Angry, Hercules sealed off one of the entrances to the cave and pursued the lion right in through the other. So immense was his strength that he seized the lion and strangled it to death by ramming his fist down its throat. He then flung the beast over his shoulder in proof to King Eurystheus that he'd completed his task. Hercules then skinned the lion and used its tough hide as a protective shield as well as for exhibitionistic reasons.

So angry was Hera; Goddess of Feminimity at Hercules' success that she raised the soul of the lion high into the sky, and created the constellation Leo.

Henceforth, the ancient Sumerians, Babylonians, Persians, Syrians, Greeks, and Romans, all recognized this constellation as a lion.

Truth and the Dreamgirls

Emotional people nurture capabilities and little respect for rules.
Rational people nurture a respect for rules but require the essence of time for breeding talent.

Dreamgirls is a tale that struggles to show the differences between those who reply on their heart and those who turn to the grey matter above when making decisions, and how the consequences of either approach roll out.

It tells of Emotionality as opposed to Rationality. And shows there is but a dimunitive diferentiation in betwixt and between the two.

For while Rationality enables Relations, Emotionality allows for Love.

And while Emotionality induces Ingenious creations, Rationality makes for its continuation to an eventual Legacy.

Emotionality induces Intensity, Rationality permits Variety.

Rationality yield flawless plans and Emotionality attests plans' execution in mastery.

For where Emotionality spares beauty for The Moment
Rationality really manages beauty for A Lifetime.

But Relations can be truly hollow without Love, and Love need be measurably alloted in relations to build lasting relations. Stupendous and random Creations lays out the structure for an eminent Legacy to build itself upon; with the latter its glory can perpetuate. Intensity in any field shapes anatomy for the field's possibility for Diversification, yet obsession can be counteracted only when one deflects to examining variety. No Plan is productive without Execution but execution is aimless without direction. "What is" outlines "What is to come", yet there can be no present accomplishable that can be meaningful without turning to studying its significance for the future.

Exquisite emotions in truth stem from an unblemished heart and incorruptable rationalities spring from a virtuous mind. The two are perhaps quite one and them same.

Quite deep... bah, go do the show.

Sights from Lunar Omega

Only today did I learn that Yuan Xiao refers to the yummy glutinous rice balls. Lol

peanut filling... Delicious.

"Descend punctual, Hypnos!"

Horrors of horrors is what describes when ailments of Insomnia spill beyond the body to afflict life.

I overslept and was late for work.

After a frantic rush to office, I smoothened my tousled mood by plugging on to 2 hours of Enigma's "Endless Quest", which just about summarises my endeavors to attain inconsciousness these days. Yes, days cos my body seems to have formed an ajustment to calling out for rest only at wee hours approaching dawn (past 4am).

Anyway what is truly disgruntling is people's concern for my sleepinability/insomnia drama in the form of nags and periodic reminders. I D O N ' T N E E D R E M I N D E R S T H A N K S. I want to fall into a dead-to-the-world-exhausted, REM-free slumber too hello?? A chat is more useful to me if you can afford to care.

Hypnos, Personification of Sleep, Nyx &Thanatos. Like Death, he is usually depicted as a winged male, and in the span classicism period with wings in his hair. He is seen with Death carrying the bodies of heroes from battlefields or crouching over sleeping figures

I sought out Google for counsel on my sudden crepscular nature and came up with the following litany of explanations (and after analysis, I realised that mine is just a Transient form, not Accute or Chronc, thank God!).

Parasomnia - Nightmares, sleepwalking, violent behavior while sleeping, REM disorder

Mania or Hypomania - Symptom of Bipolar Disorder (check a previous entry)

Dehydration - Basically caused by crap that is in you rather than your poo

Pain - Any form of pain, external or internal ensures you (not Rusky) is the nightkeeper to your abode

Hyper-thyroidism - Excessive multiplication of Hormones responsible for body's BMR, physical tolerance and metabolism (energy)
Examples: Graves disease (80% etiology); a thyroid disorder unknowned trigger by an antibody auto-immune reaction, Inflammation of Thyroid Glands, Tumor growths or cancer (Hope not!!!)

Other reasons cover side effects from medication, stress or emotional upheavals, physical or mental illnesses

As well as the more plausible ones :

Clinophobia - Inability to rest due to anxiety and physical pain
what with odd abdomenal aches...

Circadian rhythm sleep disorders - Insomnia due to social disruptions or delays to sleeping phases
Examples: Jet-lag, Shift-work.
Pretty obvious which of the two affects me, though i don't credit high possibility.

Consumtion of Stimulants - Caffeine, Nicotine, Sugar, Alcohol or certain Medication, Pills or Drugs
Hmm...calcium supplements, hormonal drugs included?

Lack of Exercise - Exercising 4 - 5 hours prior to bedtime aids sleeping
Em...it's obvious I'm no regular at this.

Among the available proposals, Jm's take was the last one. In his opinion, my daytime preocupation is way too idle and I need physical exertion to drain the surplus and undissipated energy. Since there are limited sport activities recommendable for twilight engagement (unless you consider grooving at St. James gym-out) he suggested Jogging, (which happens to be an activity I won't ever ever allot energy to, even if spare energy overflows in globs; unless of cos you revamp the sport away from monotony which you can't).

Or maybe he knows me well enough to know I sublime every "jogging session" to its less deplorable form, Walking.

Still, take a hike, I prefer Insomnia.

*sigh*

Victorian Twilight Chapter VII

(oh....places I only dream of every visiting...sigh.)

This has to be Jay Chou's most sexy track ever (next to Rosemary that is).
English streetnames, armours, noblehood, murder in dark alleys, knights and horse carriages, those and piano and violin accompaniment, it's instant Victorian aristocratic and sophistication when you plug on!

Found online, an English-rendition of its lyrics and after touch-up, reading it almost makes for the mood the song delivers (if you've not heard before), else please skip this for the track *wink*.

Twilight's Chapter VII
December of 1983 in a small alley
(I am) penning "Twilight's Chapter Seven"
As the typewriter types away the next line that closes in on the truth
The withered trees seem to respond in teary lamentation as the smoke sail out from my heath pipe towards them
At the circular square at the side of Baker Street
An iris-patterned badge glistens on the armour sleeve of a rider
Mildly lit, not a sound from humans or horse-carriages
Evil lurks with the late night sojourn under the Victorian moonlight
Bloodshed opening, a vanished pistol, a charred cane, a melted statue of wax.
Who was inconspicuous from the scene?
Codes and Symbols on the gem case act as decoy
Contradictions were no end to the leads he constructed, all evidence perfectly buried
Lips that mock at the Scotland Police Academy forms a sinister upturned curl

If Evil were scores of glorious atrocity
(Then Justice is silent but hapless exasperation)
I will personally pen the last stance
(For I will flame a glimmer from the ashes)
The last traces of sorrow will evaporate at the magnificent glow of dawn
(Then rain will cleanse the lurid tall walls)
Black ink will be blended with serenity
(Exit blinkers will shut off and red tableu cutain cascade)

Truth only treads on virgin soils
Be they vivid floral frangrances, or deliberate elaborate costumes
Guises and lies can hold for a variety of reasons
But their motivations condense to what is just Desire
Crossing the marshland of humanity can one really remain undefiled?
It's possible to forget and forgive, but truth must first be rendered
The steely foundation that's been shifted and the last jigsaw finally pieces
I hear footsteps pattering
The unmistakenable soft leather heels
She pushes open the door the rush of an evening breeze dazzled the kerosene's flame
A halt to the ratchety-ratchety-ping of the typewriter's hovering at the Antagonist's name I turned around
The fiery sunset in Westminster Abbey's nite skies start a burning sensation in the chest rupturing a (my)splendrous death
I savoured the last moments of sweet revelation
On retrospect it is gratifying to learn that Justice is often quietly served and silently promulgated
Plucking at the strings on Thames

My heart is at England.

Nikki - A true woman

Vickie Lynn Hogan or Anna Nicole Smith

(November 28, 1967 ~ February 8, 2007)

In your quest to live a worthy life,

you've gritted your way through every possible tragedy and humiliation.

Still, even with surpassing resilience,

there was none you could find in your means to outlive the death of a most-beloved.

Your were tuly decadent, but you were also truly beautiful.

I pray your inheritance ultimately gets alloted to your child, the living one.

Finally you can rest.

Spring/Summer 2007-2008

Byblos didn't compose for the Spring/summer season so I have to turn to other more expensive labels for haute couture. And I also decided that Armani and Valentino's safe designs are not worthy of much perusal so I skip featuring theirs.

Chanel's characterized by leggings and black stockings, full/knee length patterned dresses, Greek styled dresses or 18thC inspired shifts, gold/silver sequins and body hugging satin. Those and zebra striped cloth, see-through black material, elaborately feathered and frilly designs on full bodiced gowns. Skin tone to silver, grey, to white, black and other flat monotones flat tone form the palatte with occasional repeated/checked squares.

Dior's displayed strong oriental influences (Korean/Vietnamnese/Japanese), Kimono, Korean or Vietnamese traditional dressing, with extricate motifs of oriental emblems, painted faces, Perfectly starched and pressed cloth, folds deliberate. Even shoes and headgear borrowed orient's style, clogs and wide brimmed hat. Colours were bold and bright, (reminiscient of geisha age.

Givenchy's this season is macabre and not without nuances of influence from the dress of the Pope. Matched with upturned hats (bowl-shaped), most models wore full length dresses revealing little skin, if not sleeveless, formless but fold-applenty pull-overs/jackets. Most of the collars also huge, and merges so you are not sure where the dress start. Colours were either flat toned or elaborately patterned.

Jean-Paul Gaultier's my favorite this season, with work heavily influenced by the Stainglass and Catholicism, mirroring almost Givenchy. Think coronation attire; heavy royal and gold sequins. Coloured scarf-like alternative materials peer from underskirts, else intricately flowery cloth, crosses applenty. Formless dresses, elaborate ball gowns (wedding dress style) with colours mostly stuck in the gothic-age; mostly beige, grey, black, oceanus blue, with occasional golds and yellows, else. Gautier displays his creativity this time through his extensively elaborate "corronation-style" headgears.

Lessons from Alicia Keys

On a Woman's worth

Buy me diamonds
Buy me pearls
Take me on a cruise around the world
Prep me dinner lit by candles
And run my bubble bath
Make love to me tenderly to last and last

Yummy... But mostly impractical except for the last line. Try that and these:

Please me like a Real Man should
Know my worth
Treat me fairly (as your equal)
Promise not to bluff
And never play me
Don't take for granted the passion I have for you
Put me FIRST
(when I call for it)
You will lose if you refuse
Cos for me, you'll always come first
And I give you all my goods
Go the mile to make you smile
...and treat you like a Real Woman should

Mmmm hmmm...Definitely practical.

C is for Commitment

I have decided that i am a very committed person. If I wasn't before, I sure am now. If am not outside the social, I really am more so than you think cos Social is My Life; it is all that I live/lived for.

In very unrefined words, I pang-sehed* Rayner for dinner last night cos I promised Mum to be home for her vemicelli (which didn't turn out to be very good). In the afternoon, I accompanied Pauline on her first date with Malcolm, just because I made prior commitments; to the latter to help him get "hitched" and to the former a personal one.

*a Singlish colloquial for "upsetting the plans that others have made with you without informing in prior"

But I had really wanted to do dinner's with Rayner; we've been talking about it for more than a month now.
And I had really not wanted to assist anyone "do dates" (can't 2 independent adults manage a date??)

I can't rationalise why I don't seem to ever be doing the things I want to, nor how I keep getting caught with doing the things I don't want to; except to rest justification on that 'C' word.

Because i want to be Committed to lives of the people I love and nothing short of prolonging their states of happiness satiates me. Even when it means doing things I don't want to do, and not doing the things I want to do.

Oh and I love JM too, I pang-sehed not one but TWO groups of friends to join his family and colleagues on Saturday.

The Seed of Life

"满" I was surfing the net for an image I can use for a tattoo whose symbolism would closely link to the word when I stumbled upon this image (cos I really didn't want to resort to tattooing the Chinese character per se; which would then be toooo obvious and uncool, and not sexy at all).

The Flower of Life (FoL).

Perhaps new to Singaporean Math enthusiasts, this image is not to human history for people around the world have regarded the FoL for its Perfect Form, Proportion, and Harmony. Exactly the symbolisms I need to symbolize JM!

It is over 6000 years old!!! Holy Moly~

The more I found, the more I am convinced that this is divine intervention to help to decide on my tattoo image.

Let's start with the significances behind its perfection. It is said that the within the FoL can be derived :

The Fruit of Life / Metatron Cube.

A geometrical figure of 13 circles. In connecting the centre of each circle to all others' centres with lines, we have a total of 87 lines forming an image of the Metatron Cube.

(The Metatron Cube)

Within this, you may locate all the 2D and flattened depictions of all five Platonic Solids.

(Tetrahedron, Octahedron, Hexahedron or Cube, Dodecahedron, Icosahedron)

Greek Philosopher Plato (hence the name of the solids) postulated that these geometric forms are templates from which all life springs. This was why the Fruit of Life was regarded as the blueprint of the universe since it contains the basis for the design of every atom, molecular structure, life form, and everything in existence. He theorized that the Classical elements of Water, Air, Earth and Fire (from which patterns of nature was observable) were constructed from these solids. His intuitive justifications for their associations follows as :

Air = Octahedron - its miniscule components are so smooth that they can hardly be felt

Fire= Tetrahedron - Heat feels sharp and stabbing

Water = Icosahedron - It easily flows out of one's hand when picked up

Earth = Cube - Un-spherical and clumsy qualities resembles dirt and soil

His disciple, Aristotle added a fifth element,

Ether (aether in Latin) = Dodecahedron - the element that formed the heavens; what the Gods breathe

With improvements in Molecular Sciences, we now know these are not true. But the aesthetic beauty and perfect symmetry of the Platonic solids remain mythified through the Metatron Cube and continues to lend beautiful significance to the Flower of Life.

The FoL is also of perculiar significance to works of Leonardo daVinci. Da Vinci used the FoL design to create other geometric figures such as the Sphere, the Golden Phi, as well as the Torus shape.

Mysticism of the da Vinci effect thickens as I carried on with research; I found religious significance of FoL to Christianity as well as what seemed like divine intervention for deciding on the ultimate image of my future tattoo...

Which is the SEED OF LIFE.

It will rest on my back someday.

A direct variation or a component of the FoL, this image in Christianity, symbolizes the 7 days that God created life; best described in the Biblical Book of Genesis.

The first step in forming the Seed of Life is to draw the circle as a 2D model. Some believe this step was the creation of the Octahedron by a God or divine creator. The next was for the Creator to spin the shape on its axis. In this way, a sphere is formed. The Creator's consciousness is said to exist within the sphere and the only thing that physically exists is the membrane of the sphere itself.

The first day is symbolized by the Vesica Piscis

Christians believe this symbol represents the second stage in the creation of the Seed of Life, through the creation of a sphere joined with the initial. It is said that the Creator's consciousness first began inside the first sphere and later to the surface of that sphere to create the second. Much reference was from the Old Testament, Genesis 1:2 where it was said that "the spirit of the Creator floaded upon the face of the waters." Through creating the second sphere, God is said to have created light, as per Genesis 1:3 "Let there be light". From then, the Vesica Piscis has always carried with it the symbolism of fushion of polarities and opposites.

Christian image of the Fish

Turn it around and the middle enclosed space forms an image of the Fish, which is the Christian symbol for the Son, Jesus Christ.

Add a circle and you get the Second day, Tripod of Life.

The 3 rings when together are inseparable, but remove any one ring and the other two fall apart. Due to this unique property, they have been used in many fields as a symbol of strength in unity.

In Biology, this tripod represents the three organs necessary for sustenance; Heart, Lungs and Brain or the Mind, Body and Spirit

Biologists have even succeeded in constructing Borromean rings from DNA

In Christianity, the Tripod of Life symbolizes the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit

A circle was created with every subsequent day, until all the 7 spheres construct the Seed of Life on the sixth day of Creation. The seventh day was known as Sabbath, or the day of rest.

Genesis 1 1In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. 2And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. 3And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. 4And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness. 5And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day. 6And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters. 7And God made the firmament, and divided the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament: and it was so. 8And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day. 9And God said, Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry land appear: and it was so. 10And God called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of the waters called he Seas: and God saw that it was good. 11And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so. 12And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind: and God saw that it was good. 13And the evening and the morning were the third day. 14And God said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years: 15And let them be for lights in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth: and it was so. 16And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also. 17And God set them in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth, 18And to rule over the day and over the night, and to divide the light from the darkness: and God saw that it was good. 19And the evening and the morning were the fourth day. 20And God said, Let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and fowl that may fly above the earth in the open firmament of heaven. 21And God created great whales, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind: and God saw that it was good. 22And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth. 23And the evening and the morning were the fifth day. 24And God said, Let the earth bring forth the living creature after his kind, cattle, and creeping thing, and beast of the Earth after his kind: and it was so. 25And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and every thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and God saw that it was good. 26And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. 27So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. 28And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. 29And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat. 30And to every beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air, and to every thing that creepeth upon the earth, wherein there is life, I have given every green herb for meat: and it was so. 31And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.
Genesis 2:1Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the host of them. 2And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made. 3And God blessed the seventh day, and sanctified it: because that in it he had rested from all his work which God created and made.

The Golden Spiral

It may perhaps be intriguing to know that the Golden Spiral; a logarithmic spiral whose growth factor is related to Phi; "φ" or the Golden Ratio, may be geometrically obtained from the FoL as well. It's ring expansion is similar and often thought to be identical to the Fibonacci sequence; a series of numbers whose successive numbers relate to each other by the ratio 0.618 or 1.618. This ratio is called the Golden Ratio or Phi and underlines one methodology of analyzing the mathematical relationships between waves. The difference is that the Fibonacci spiral is a whole number interpretation of the arithmetically impossible Golden spiral, which has no beginning or end. The Fibonacci spiral has a defined beginning.

Phi is a constant value no arithmetical solution; the decimals just keep on going into infinity without ever repeating themselves. The unique thing about this number is that it can be found incorporated in all known organic structures. From the bone structure of human beings to the seed pattern of a sunflower to the spiral of a sea shell, the phi proportion is there, underlying all biological structures, seeming to be a geometrical blueprint for life itself.

This Golden Spiral is geometrically considered to be the most even, and hence pleasing form to the human eye. Did I mention that our Home Galaxy, the Milky Way is structured apparently similar to the spiral?

All these can be derived from the Flower of Life, it is indeed uncanny. All I need to know now, is the cost of getting this on my back...

On Xiaxue

Just read Xiaxue's blog; courtesy of the convenient link on Mal's blog. Yes, prior to this, I have never visited it. Not even when my male friends were gaga over her views and life (over mine). Not even when the whole varsity world was gaga over her views and life.

*the singlish colloquiel of "crazy"

I have never visited her blog cos I never saw a point (how different can views on mundane issues get???) and now that I have, I do. I see how pointless it is. Plus how right I was.

Even if I am unbiased (which I am!), her opinions are at best, ordinary. Though her entries are quite hilarious, it is only because she chose to be singlish and crude, anything like that interests the average Singaporean. And for army boys (who form the bulk of readers'), anything "lian" interests.

*the singlish colloquiel of "an attractive 'female'"

Perhaps it also helps to know about 60% of varsity students are Engineers and Scientists. And most Engineers and Scientists are male. BTW, we indulge higher learning precisely to try to diplomatize the profane and crude.

Her fans obviously don't get to speak to an NUS Arts girl much. Cos if they do, they will soon find that almost every FASS girl can rattle off the same opinions (in speech mind you) the same way Xiaxue can shoot her "fingers" off; and still have excess time for more constructive endeavors. And with theatre studies, some of them can act boisterous.

It makes me wonder if these people who follow her blog religiously have their own minds. If they do, how empty is it really that they can find something, in views so ordinary, to admire?

Then again, most Singaoreans are contented living life vicariously. And they probably just wanna experience glam through hers. But through a bummer's life??? How deprived are they, really?

The only reason I can imgagine she won an International award for her blog is the way she writes; she certainly makes her points quite easy to comprehend. But then, only the itellectually deficient can fail to understand what she is trying to say after reading through the AMOUNT she writes!

Especially since most of her points are repetitions of repetitions.

And how can any guy stay attracted to someone this boisterous? Don't they need rest? My guess is that she doesn't talk in her sleep and while having sex; then she obviously acts better than she blogs.

Or perhaps the reason Mike (her Ang-moh bf) takes off back home this often may be secretly due to the fact that she really talks this incessantly!?! He probably needs a break every now and then to escape her never-ending views and constant need to air them (if she still does outside blogging), unless of cos, she really acts better than she blogs.

And yes, someone will knock her plastic nose into an irreparable state eventually if she carries her views aloud with her (I heard she won't even shut up at surgery to give her surgeon some peace).

No, I am not saying these cos I am even the least bit jealous/envious of her fame.

For the sake of humanity, I hope her shot at international recognition is short lived. Can you imagine a world more interested in the trivials of a little girl than their own fucking lives?

Oh perhaps they visit her site cos she is quite a doll to look at.

But any girl can be pretty on her blog (it's HER Blog!) by investing half the amount of time she does on Photoshop or taking personal photographs. And any girl can half as pretty if she invests half as much as Xiaxue does on hair dye, nail polish, MASCARA and girlie dresses. Erm...and whatever else her tiny physique can have space for.

Then again, if her body doesn't have space, there is always still her huge blog.

Men are Merely Boys with Extended Fantasies

Even men who are faithful tend to have roving eyes.

Don't laugh at this stale topic. I know it is not a worthy of much debate at first glance. But look around and you will agree the ubiquity of the phenomenon deserves some 2-cents.

Let's discuss my impetus for this entry first. It's horse-sense, I know, but it's disgusting; such gazes as well as the significance behind them. And honestly, as much as it is absurd to men how women can be ruled entirely by emotions (sensations via a coordination of organs), it is equally baffling to us how your instincts and actions can be governed (everytime) by one single body part...

CNY makes for good opportunities to do sociology of this form since gatherings emphasize men and their "roving" nature when it lends opportunities for the old and young, the attractive and otherwise to mingle, as well as for Alpha simpletons to increase their sexual esteem.

Mutiple master or honor degrees, looks to kill, ceiling-high income cannot help them cross their lustful souls or roving eyes. And even with age and each passing year, men seldom learn enough to surprise.

Maintain a healthy bossom and bum and then dress a little provocatively, a lady can have any guy they fancy eating out of the palm of their hands. Laugh into their eyes and whatever nonsense she sprouts become instantly, golden theory. To get back at Lady B whom Lady A randomly desires or particularly dislikes, all it takes is for her to bend forth to reach for a dropped tart (courtesy of CNY) and accidentally let loose a little cleavage (even lack-of) facing Man B. Who cares if Ladies C, D call her a bitch? There're always still Man C and Man D to be "friends" with.

With losers (most men) and bitches (you-know-which-ladies) everywhere these days, it's little surprise ladies leave their men at home anytime. Imagine introducing your hubby to attractive Veronica and he suddenly develops gentlemanly ways you never suspected he had.

Where women are concerned, there is a chinese saying that wives are to men, forever incomparable to mistresses, and mistresses incomparable to prostitutes, prostitutes incomparable to secret paramours and sercret paramours incomparable to those they secretly-fantasize about. Perhaps men (who never grow from boys) are in reality, rooted in fantasy alone.

Ladies, take it from Madonna and just love cash.

Storm on the 11th Hour

Weather forecast for the second half of 20-Feb-07 had been 'Cloudy overcast with thunderstorm detected islandwide in the late evening'. I had missed accounting to my Boss for my urgent leave off work and needed to make a trip back to to carry out email ritual as was committed.

Perhaps I should've prayed to God for fair weather before heading out but I forgot. Whatever it was, Poseidon certainly saw it as a golden opportunity to kick up a storm at work.

He did, since the effects wouldn't rain on him. It was with sheer dexterity that I managed to steer and still navigate. My radar would signal distress to those who would bother picking up waves. No one did, not even my guy at the lighthouse. It was a public holiday but I had to return to work, this sure added impetus to the cummulo-nimbus clouds above and the drizzle turned into a downpour.

I was hoping the lighthouse's would deliver a soothing voice on time through the buzzer as companion for my lonesome ride home as well as for sweet relief and remedy to the raging emotions the bumpy ride at work today had stirred up in me. He didn't (actually he did, I missed the first call). Instead, he chose to be driving home after a fun gathering at the eleventh hour (the consistant hour I seek remedies) and in the process, miss all my call returns. Worse, it seemed he hadn't even anticipated my call-backs nor come up with rain-checks or measures to allay any negative emotions that I could be harboring due to having to work on a declared rest-day.

If I were to act strongly on this, he'll read it as my not paying heed to the series of strong warnings he'd already dished out the many previous yester-evenings (regarding his particular distaste for disagreements amounting to arguments). But I can't rationalize how this usually responsible chap (who claims he loves me) couldn't even be bothered to ring me up most of the day to say hello and now, couldn't see calling me at our allocated timing as important as driving home.

At this thought, Poseidon joined powers with Zeus and lightning flashed out overhead. I tapped a morse code (to his mobile) "You better have good reasons" - it decoded.

The thunderstorm unleashed with full throttle.

I finally got him on the speaker half an hour from the usual time and I deteced from first hello, his iritation that I was at it again; violating his "no-trash" rule. I know he got my message. I also know I should detour while I still can (and cut the reproach short) to avoid contesting his low and inelastic limit of tolerence. He knows I know and I know he knows I know. But I stubbornly chose to steer head on against the lashing waves and hence demanded his "navigation advice" (reasons).

I was unreasonable mostly throughout as we "covered" topics on my quarrelsome nature, his peace-loving nature, the 11pm-rule time check (he wanted to ruin the significance of the rule which he knows is what I seek, by threatening to set adherence alarms to the hour), the no-storm-rule as well as a bit on equality-of-genders at peddling relationships (a must-do) before I finally touched on my bad day at sea (work).

After learning the cause of the maelstrom (because his girl had had a bad day at work), he steered the course to the conclusive chapter; his ever-ready-ear for his lady's bad days. I relented and the thunderstorm receded to a gentle mizzle. He then threw in a bonus chapter; I'll take you boating down SG river. Smart guy.

The drizzle subsided with Apollo triumphing over Poseidon and Zeus and it was fair skies once again :)

Noontime teasing

"Afternoon dear! Have a good day!"

"Hee... So you do miss me as much as I do. Even while you're on course today (or mebe due to that :) Love you..."

"Give me some credit mah, hah. I always miss u, regardless of the msg or not (*whether I msg or not)."

Oh darling, leave me some credit too, I always believe you do. I just also always choose to pretend I don't...!

Charlie

A death prophesy (though I'd like to imagine otherwise) is perhaps the best and most instant life-transforming mechanism. The Charlie before his entanglement with chronic illness was haughty and aloof, was intolerably nonchalant, was self-importanced and high maintained, most of all, was hardly available and even when available, was always hardly there at all.

Today's Charlie sat through our visit actually paying attention to what was conversed, appearing to apply for once, more of his heart than his mind and making judgements from thoughtful discernment than collected and logical detachment. This Charlie volunteered his presence for the childish and mindless banter his guests imposed and also played host with more energy than was expected of his ill-disposed physique.

Before his deathnote arrived, he was the only one in the family who refused the religion ideology when introduced to Christianity. Today, he attends regular services with his parents at Living Faith's and listens to tapes from Pastor Prince.

Nothing seems more heart-wrenching than realising these transformations. "I work from home more often now" he proffered, almost unintelligibly before we stepped into the house when I inquired.

Is it always this difficult for the humble to watch the proud take their fall?

After the visit, I took a moment of recollection on tales i have heard about Charlie before. My impression of him as a young man wasn't deep, just always felt the younger him to be a gentle and silently resolved teen. From the gossipmills though, his reputation precedes him, I easily recall stories of his retaliation; while at Europe doing his honors, there was once he fractured his arm after losing his cool and pulling several punches at a non-Chinese hurling expletives at Chinese nationals, there was also the case where he wrestled his father (who was a violent man before Christening) when the latter's violence extended to his wife (I remember this cos it particularly surprised me how a scrawny (Charlie then) and mild mannered man can command so much energy for a cause that would matter little to most others.

P & J noted that he looked frailer than he looked when first hospitalized though I thought he looked fine, if not a shade yellow-er. His weaker disposition (hence milder engagement) and regained mellowness reminded me of what I perceived a teenage Charlie; a silent observer armed with more thoughts of isolation than vilification. He even is a church goer now...

Though I prefer this version of him, I hate to be mindful of the cause of his restitution.

Above all said, I pray that God will deliver him from the evil of carcinoma and keep his soul safe from the boundaries of damnation. That the Almighty One will revive in him the spirit of living waters and make intact in his heart, the knowledge of His goodness.

And we will all still get to see him more next CNY.

Love Quotes

Online Quotations: Defining Love

When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis, too. That's love.

Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your fries without making them give you any of theirs.

Love is when someone hurts you. And you get so mad but you don't yell at them because you know it would hurt their feelings.

Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.

Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is okay.

Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.

When you tell someone something bad about yourself and you're scared they won't love you anymore. But then you get surprised because not only do they still love you, they love you even more.

Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken.

Love is when mommy sees daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.

You really shouldn't say "I love you" unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.

Get it? ;)

Worser than Loveless

Tell me what's worse than losing your love in modern day context?

Losing your mobile phone.

Really sscarrry.

Chu yi

This year was a little different from the past.

I paid a home-call to JM's grams' abode and met most of his extended family. His well & upper class uncles and aunts, his pretty cousins and adorable nephews.

And I realised...(not without consternation)...

How perhaps due to lack of regular practice, that I can't seem to do the family thing at all.

I fumble internally at every casual comment on my dress, I stutter on replying at curiosites expressed about me and JM's love relationship and my grace fails me at the tiniest indication of hostility (purposefully directed or otherwise). It's been a long time since I experienced scrutiny of this level that despite myself; assigns all my cognitive instincts to high-strung defense mode.

Being among his family folks was like being part of a pompous parade where I laud the beautiful despite my having alternative definitions, where I lend esteem to whom my heart doesn't rest with; where I dish affectational greetings that scantly meets a disapproval.

I tripped over my own leg looking for a miniscule inference of a possible love that can reveal itself amidst the festive hubub among mundanities of events and found scarcely none.

The buzz and fuss over ordinary pineapple tarts makes me feel emptier than the occasion deserves.

I miss Mum a lot suddenly.

Celebrating CNY with Work

There is always a pang associated with CNY for me. Celebratory moods for the occasion belong to a thing of the too-distant past now; maybe before Dad and Mum became irreconcilable, maybe before jadedness about meeting relatives and hearing them ask the same questions over and over took over, maybe before Rabbit-brand candies and Cadbury's became indulgences that I now can ill-afford, perhaps before sweet Granny transformed into bitter Grumpy or maybe above all, before I became too conscious of others' perceptions on my life and its contents.

Rabbits! 're on Wiki: professionally coined "White Rabbit Brand Creamy candies": oh i reali miss em!

There are many things I miss about the old CNYs actually.

I'd like to contest now, even the hassle of taking and changing buses to pay annual homage to Aunt Rich and boredom of waiting for adults to conclude their social games. Oh what'd I give to get another chance to eat Grandma's CNY-spread leftovers (she usually anticipates too many guests) or just sample Mum's Chuyi vermicelli? But I can't since Mum has turned to returning home to avoid Dad's relations. How bad more can things go?

This is probably the 3rd consecutive year that me, P & J have to resort to "shopping" at half-shut malls or spending every ang pow (if we even get any this year) cent on movie tics. And we'll not consider asking Dad to join us for the big screens, since having him around will just emphasize Mum's absence.

Let me try to recall the last CNY eve. Reunion dinner feast was at Granny's, with distant relations from Taiwan playing guests if I remember correct... I turned up late cos me and P were shopping (rather, scrambling last minute at Chinatown (the MRT we hopped on back was monopolized by foreigners who didn't have reunions to make, we felt like tourists at homeland!)...or was that the year before? Hell, I distinctly remember however, post-dinner activity; the movie session with Eve and the guys, Changhao and Sun were there too. Jiaman was still motorbiking then so I hitched a ride back home from Sun. I wonder what activity this year's eve will spell.

Whatever the least, there still is my boy...

Talking about work, I've decide to take on the role of a devoted employee this year. I am probably the only "dedicated" CTS employee returning to work on all of the CNY days to carry out email rituals when the rest of the world pays annual tribute to tradition and kindred bonds.

I hope at least my friends'll wanna hang out. Then again, I just wish this CNY slips by fast enough!

Soliciting help

"Adrian, can you help me contact Jiaman thru his mobile? I can't seem to reach him, he is not answering my calls."

"He should be on his way back...Hahaha...quarrel right? Else you won't be so urgently looking for him, but he is on the chopper, probably won't pick up..."...

"Nevermind then, I will reach him later myself."

"..wait wait wait, just tell me you guys quarrelled, am I correct or not? Just tell me if I am correct or not (I won't ask for what). I'm sure I'm right!"

"You're right, we did. Want a medal for it?"

"Hahaha...I knew it"...


Some friend.