Charlie

A death prophesy (though I'd like to imagine otherwise) is perhaps the best and most instant life-transforming mechanism. The Charlie before his entanglement with chronic illness was haughty and aloof, was intolerably nonchalant, was self-importanced and high maintained, most of all, was hardly available and even when available, was always hardly there at all.

Today's Charlie sat through our visit actually paying attention to what was conversed, appearing to apply for once, more of his heart than his mind and making judgements from thoughtful discernment than collected and logical detachment. This Charlie volunteered his presence for the childish and mindless banter his guests imposed and also played host with more energy than was expected of his ill-disposed physique.

Before his deathnote arrived, he was the only one in the family who refused the religion ideology when introduced to Christianity. Today, he attends regular services with his parents at Living Faith's and listens to tapes from Pastor Prince.

Nothing seems more heart-wrenching than realising these transformations. "I work from home more often now" he proffered, almost unintelligibly before we stepped into the house when I inquired.

Is it always this difficult for the humble to watch the proud take their fall?

After the visit, I took a moment of recollection on tales i have heard about Charlie before. My impression of him as a young man wasn't deep, just always felt the younger him to be a gentle and silently resolved teen. From the gossipmills though, his reputation precedes him, I easily recall stories of his retaliation; while at Europe doing his honors, there was once he fractured his arm after losing his cool and pulling several punches at a non-Chinese hurling expletives at Chinese nationals, there was also the case where he wrestled his father (who was a violent man before Christening) when the latter's violence extended to his wife (I remember this cos it particularly surprised me how a scrawny (Charlie then) and mild mannered man can command so much energy for a cause that would matter little to most others.

P & J noted that he looked frailer than he looked when first hospitalized though I thought he looked fine, if not a shade yellow-er. His weaker disposition (hence milder engagement) and regained mellowness reminded me of what I perceived a teenage Charlie; a silent observer armed with more thoughts of isolation than vilification. He even is a church goer now...

Though I prefer this version of him, I hate to be mindful of the cause of his restitution.

Above all said, I pray that God will deliver him from the evil of carcinoma and keep his soul safe from the boundaries of damnation. That the Almighty One will revive in him the spirit of living waters and make intact in his heart, the knowledge of His goodness.

And we will all still get to see him more next CNY.